It is scary out there .....

Next time i blog i will write something funny, i thought. I thought enough with my cynicism. Alas! Here i am writing another post which is dipped and soaked in negativity. I guess i worry too much, may be i should stop. Let me get to the point.
I never understood the term rat race, i first heard the term when i was in the 8th standard. Everybody said it is a rat race out there. And i was like do rats really race? The term, though partially, never really hit me until i was in 11th standard when i saw S R nagar roads bustling with youngsters like me trying to make it into the IITs or the NITs or BITS. Bright young minds studying for over 8 hours a day and not so bright young minds studying 11 hours a day, giving their best, trying to out beat one another with coyote like perseverance and Gollum like desperation. I too tried, but neither did have the perseverance nor the desperation. Why work so hard for a few extra bucks, i give a rat’s ass i thought.
The term really hit me (actually punched me) when i started working and was financially dependent on myself. I realised how fucking hard it is to run a family (though i am not running any now). With my limited mathematical skills i realised, it is fucking impossible feed anyone else with the money i make other than myself. That too after sharing rent with 3 friends of mine and depending on my parents for the last 5 days of the month. So the thought of feeding somebody else scares the shit out of me. You may say my salary will increase and i may get a better job, for that to happen i have to be in the rat race.
Today kicking myself with all my might i think “WHY WORKS SO HARD FOR A FEW EXTRA BUCKS HUH?? I GIVE A RAT’S ASS HUH?? FUCKING MORON!!!”

I am a rat and i have to be in the rat race and i give a rat’s ass because it is my ass which is on fire.
Amen.!